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Unlimited Technical Jokes - IT, CS HUMOUR

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<span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Black"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Black";">1.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">  </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Compaq is
considering changing the command 'Press any key' to 'Press Enter key' because
of the flood of calls asking where is the 'Any' key.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #000099; font-family: 'Arial Black', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">2.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">  </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: 'Arial Black', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">AST technical
support had a called complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the
dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packed
in !</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000099; font-family: 'Arial Black', sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">3.  Another Compaq
technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read
word processing files from his old diskettes. The customer had stuck labels on
the diskettes. then rolled them into his typewriter to type on the labels.</span></center>
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<span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Black"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Black";">4.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">  </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another customer
was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later. a letter
arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Black"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Black";">5.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">  </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A Dell technician
advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the
door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, put the receiver next to the
phone, crossed his room and closed the door to his room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Black"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Black";">6.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">  </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another Del
customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40
minutes of trouble-shooting. the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a
piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the
'Send' key.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Black"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Black";">7.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">  </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yet another Dell
customer called to complain desk that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned
it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaked the keyboard for a day,
then removing all the keys and washing them individually.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Black"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Black";">8.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">  </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A Dell technician
received a call from a customer who was engaged because his computer had told
him he was 'bad and invalid'. The tech explained that the computer's 'bad'
command and 'invalid' resoponses shouldn't be taken personally.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">9.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">  </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">An exasperated
caller to Dell computer Tech support couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn
on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what
happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and
pushed on" this foot pedal and nothing happened". The 'foot pedal'
turned out to be the computer's mouse.</span></center>
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<span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Black"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Black";">10.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">      </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A confused caller
to IBM told the technician that the computer had said it 'couldn't find
printer'. The user had tried turning the computer screen to face the printer,
but that his computer 'still' couldn't 'see' the printer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></center>
<div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Black"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Black";">11.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">      </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "Arial Black","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another customer
called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. she
said, she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes,
waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the
power switch, she asked 'what power switch ? '<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></center>
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<ol style="text-indent: 0px;">
<li><pre><div style="color: #000099; text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<pre style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
<div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; white-space: normal;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
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</span></pre>
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</pre>
</li>
</ol>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: x-large;">At 3:37 a.m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up!</span></div>
</div>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
</div>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
</center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
</center>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Ok."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "No."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "No."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">(At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.)</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
</div>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">One woman called Dell's toll-free line to ask how to install the batteries in her laptop. When told that the directions were on the first page of the manual the woman replied angrily, "I just paid $2,000 for this damn thing, and I'm not going to read the book!"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
</div>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
</div>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "What?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer "No..."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
</div>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
</div>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Uhh...I need help unpacking my new PC."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?"</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "I can't open the box."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go from there."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Uhhhh...ok, thanks...."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
</div>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<center style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></center>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "I'm having a problem installing your software. I've got a fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL', all it says is 'Bad command or file name'."</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: navy; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Ok, check the directory of the A: drive-go to A:\ and type'dir'."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer reads off a list of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "All right, the correct file is there. Type 'INSTALL' again."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Ok." (pause) "Still says 'Bad command or file name'."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Hmmm. The file's there in the correct place-it can't help but do something. Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the Enter key?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Yes, let me try it again." (pause) "Nope, still 'Bad command or file name'."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: (now really confused) "Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck, so I'm using the 'M' key...does that matter?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" />  <img src="http://tcastle.com/fun/smiletiny.gif" /></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">At our company we have asset numbers on the front of everything. They give the location, name, and everything else just by scanning the computer's asset barcode or using the number beneath the bars.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Hello. I can't get on the network."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "Ok. Just read me your asset number so we can open an outage."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "What is that?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tech Support: "That little barcode on the front of your computer."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Customer: "Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar . . ."</span></div>
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Unlimited Technical Jokes - IT, CS HUMOUR

1. Compaq is considering changing the command 'Press any key' to 'Press Enter key' because ...